Another massive beer festival, another round of craft brewers gleefully mauling the English language.
The Great Taste of the Midwest, returning this Saturday, August 8, is nothing short of beer-nerd Christmas—an afternoon spent hanging out at Olin Park drinking as much as they can or want from among the 1,000-plus beers available from more than 150 breweries. A quick scan of the Internet doesn’t show any real thorough breakdowns of beers worth getting excited for like there was last year, which is a shame. [Update: Actually, Madison beer writer Kyle Nabilcy just posted his guide to beers of note at the 2015 Great Taste.] The times I’ve been to the Great Taste, I’ve had more fun just lazily wandering in a semi-aimless daze and trying a ton of whatever I stumble upon, so I’d say go for that if you haven’t already printed a schedule and circled every chase beer and set a personal timetable to bag every whale you’re hunting for.
In what we’re hoping to make an annual tradition, we’re evaluating the Great Taste based not on rarity or taste, but on how clever or just stupidly odd the names of craft brews can be. So here we go, with this year’s most whimsically, ill-advisedly, offensively, or just plain perplexingly named GTMW beer names. Click the names for a link to more info at RateBeer.
The Generally Ludicrous Category
If this doesn’t end up tasting like how the bungee guitar guy from Mad Max: Fury Road made me feel, then, I’m gonna be pretty angry.
Pairs well with early Woody Allen films, one would presume.
Fun game to play: Beer name, or BDSM safeword?
Christmas dinner desert beer? Sign me up!
Are “Man Pants” the opposite of mom jeans? Sounds like there’s some cross-promotional opportunities for Danny Masterson here…
Pretty sure this one’s the winner for 2015.
Sounds potentially entertaining, but ultimately more of a mess than it’s worth.
Not quite as troubling as the beer at the very end of this whole list, but way too close for comfort, if you ask me.
It doesn’t quite carry over with the name itself, but the label looks like it’s about to bust loose in the pit like crazy, so look out for this one.
Sadly, not a reference to the cargo being towed by Dennis Hopper in Stewart Gordon’s overlooked sci-fi gem Space Truckers.
Written in silken webbing by a kindly spider between the stalks of two uber-dank strains of herb.
At first, I thought the possible double-innuendo should lump this down below in the “Overtly Sexual” section down below, but since they note it’s a palindrome, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt here.
Too Many Puppies? NEVER! We recommend a Big Hugs chaser for this one.
If you’ve been looking for a beer that tastes how an Old Navy commercial looks, then this one’s for you!
To paraphrase Inigo Montoya, “You keep using that phrase… I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Has just a hint of Douglas Adams to it, don’t you think?
The Overtly Sexual Category, AKA the Where Self-Awareness Goes to Die Category
I’m just gonna leave these right here…
And, lastly…the Unbelievably Disgusting Category
Let us know in the comments about any ridiculously named GTMW beers we missed!
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