The Great Taste of the Midwest’s most ludicrous beer names, 2015 edition

Another massive beer festival, another round of craft brewers gleefully mauling the English language.

Another massive beer festival, another round of craft brewers gleefully mauling the English language.

The Great Taste of the Midwest, returning this Saturday, August 8, is nothing short of beer-nerd Christmas—an afternoon spent hanging out at Olin Park drinking as much as they can or want from among the 1,000-plus beers available from more than 150 breweries. A quick scan of the Internet doesn’t show any real thorough breakdowns of beers worth getting excited for like there was last year, which is a shame. [Update: Actually, Madison beer writer Kyle Nabilcy just posted his guide to beers of note at the 2015 Great Taste.] The times I’ve been to the Great Taste, I’ve had more fun just lazily wandering in a semi-aimless daze and trying a ton of whatever I stumble upon, so I’d say go for that if you haven’t already printed a schedule and circled every chase beer and set a personal timetable to bag every whale you’re hunting for.

In what we’re hoping to make an annual tradition, we’re evaluating the Great Taste based not on rarity or taste, but on how clever or just stupidly odd the names of craft brews can be. So here we go, with this year’s most whimsically, ill-advisedly, offensively, or just plain perplexingly named GTMW beer names. Click the names for a link to more info at RateBeer.

The Generally Ludicrous Category

Arctic Panzer Wolf (Three Floyds)

If this doesn’t end up tasting like how the bungee guitar guy from Mad Max: Fury Road made me feel, then, I’m gonna be pretty angry.

Art Of Neurosis (2nd Shift Brewing)

Pairs well with early Woody Allen films, one would presume.

Butterfly Farts (Brenner Brewing Co.)

Fun game to play: Beer name, or BDSM safeword?

Concrete Dinosaur (Right Brain Brewing)

Really hoping the guys out at Right Brain Brewing are just really big fans of the climactic scene in The WizardThe Wizard, but the world is probably not that perfect a place.

Fruitcake and Shame (Hailstorm Brewing)

Christmas dinner desert beer? Sign me up!

Man Pants (Red Eye Brewing Co.)

Are “Man Pants” the opposite of mom jeans? Sounds like there’s some cross-promotional opportunities for Danny Masterson here…

Meoweewowee (Cider House of Wisconsin)

Pretty sure this one’s the winner for 2015.

Monkey Dancing On A Razorblade (Slapshot Brewing)

Sounds potentially entertaining, but ultimately more of a mess than it’s worth.

Norm’s Raggedy-Ass IPA (Griffin Claw Brewery)

Not quite as troubling as the beer at the very end of this whole list, but way too close for comfort, if you ask me.

Snaggletooth Bandana (Solemn Oath Brewery)

It doesn’t quite carry over with the name itself, but the label looks like it’s about to bust loose in the pit like crazy, so look out for this one.

Square Pig (Vintage Brewing Co.)

Sadly, not a reference to the cargo being towed by Dennis Hopper in Stewart Gordon’s overlooked sci-fi gem Space Truckers.

Sum Nug (Shoreline Brewery & Restaurant)

Written in silken webbing by a kindly spider between the stalks of two uber-dank strains of herb.

Taco Cat (Finch’s Beer)

At first, I thought the possible double-innuendo should lump this down below in the “Overtly Sexual” section down below, but since they note it’s a palindrome, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt here.

Too Many Puppies (DryHop Brewers)

Too Many Puppies? NEVER! We recommend a Big Hugs chaser for this one.

Velour Soccer Mom (Sun King Brewing)

If you’ve been looking for a beer that tastes how an Old Navy commercial looks, then this one’s for you!

White Devil (Kuhnhenn Brewing)

To paraphrase Inigo Montoya, “You keep using that phrase… I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Yeah, Bye Earth (Logboat Brewing)

Has just a hint of Douglas Adams to it, don’t you think?

The Overtly Sexual Category, AKA the Where Self-Awareness Goes to Die Category

I’m just gonna leave these right here…

Banana Hammock Hefeweizen (Haymarket Pub & Brewery)

Bean Flicker (Odd Sides Ales)

Big Tiddy Assassin (Three Floyds)

Cameltoe (Piece)

Carnal Knowledge of the Wood (Tyranena)

Dirty Uncle Jim’s Pumpkin Pie (Lakefront Brewing)

The Fluffer Session IPA (Kuhnhenn Brewing)

And, lastly…the Unbelievably Disgusting Category

The Brown Note (Against The Grain Brewery)

Let us know in the comments about any ridiculously named GTMW beers we missed!

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